The October downloads are here… and they are my free gift to you this month. 🥰
October really is a special time of year. It’s a great time to get outside as the weather is still warm (though you definitely get those chilly feels to remind you that Fall is here).
Like many of you, watching the leaves change color is one of my favorite things to do.
Even though our lives are crazy busy with work, this is your reminder to slow it down… go jump in a few leaf piles, visit the apple orchards, go pumpkin hunting, and spend some quality time with your loved ones.
I’m wishing you a beautiful October! 🧡
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A successful personal brand is what sets you apart from your competitors. When done correctly, it’s how people recognize you and think of you. It’s the first impression they get of you before they meet you. It’s what they remember about you when they leave a conversation with you.
Building a successful personal brand comes down to five noteworthy elements. Understanding these elements will help you recognize opportunities and make smart brand-forward decisions.
A successful personal brand has these 5 elements
1. Authenticity
Your personal brand is your reputation or your first step forward. If you don’t know who you truly are, how can you possibly know how to show up to the world? It’s easy to get caught up comparing yourself to others, feeling like you’re not good enough, and allowing imposter syndrome to creep in.
What if I told you that you can limit those feelings simply by getting to know yourself better?
It’s true! In fact, personal branding is really about bringing out the best of who we are.
When it comes down to it, we all have a unique set of skills, interests and experiences that make us who we are. When we look at our lives from this perspective, it can be easier to recognize that we’re good enough just as we are — and that there’s no need to compare yourself against anyone else.
2. Values
Statistics show that 89% of shoppers stay loyal to brands that share their values.
Values are the beliefs that are most important to us both personally and professionally. They don’t have to be tangible or quantifiable; they can be more abstract, like integrity or empowerment.
When establishing a set of values, start by asking questions like:
What do I stand for?
What do I want to be known for?
What is my superpower?
How do I want to be remembered?
What is my why?
Developing your core values is easy with my FREE guide. Download it now.
Values act as our compass in making decisions and strategic plans. They help us clarify our mission, vision, and purpose — the reason why we do what we do. When we know what we value most, we are able to provide clarity on the kind of work we offer to others.
Values help us connect with others by showing them who we really are in just a few words. You may attract others simply because their values align with yours. That attraction is not as easy to develop if we do not clearly paint the picture of who we are and what we stand for.
3. Vision
A vision is essentially a big-picture perspective of where you want to be, who you want to be, and what it looks like when you get there. It’s the guiding light that helps us stay on track when things get tough, or when we’re faced with difficult decisions or unexpected challenges.
That’s why having a vision is so important. It helps us maintain focus in an ever-changing world, making sure we don’t get lost along the way.
A vision is made up of three elements:
The journey
The strategy
The tactics
The journey lays out where we are headed over time. This may be measured in days, weeks, months, or even years.
The strategy illustrates how we will get from Point A to Point B to Point C and so on. To think of it in another way, the strategy is a brand’s road map.
The tactics are the specific steps that will help us achieve our goals. The tasks we perform should help support the completion of these steps so that we are making progress (however little or big) each day.
4. Purpose
Purpose is the reason we get up in the morning. It’s what drives us to continue moving forward, even when things get tough and we want to stop.
Purpose is our North Star — it’s helps us remember what it is we’re doing here and why it matters.
Establishing our purpose helps us focus on what matters most. Without it, we’re just going through the motions. By working towards something bigger than ourselves, it becomes easier to make decisions about priorities, opportunities, and options when we’re at that metaphorical fork in the road.
Understanding your purpose may start by keeping your vision in mind. Ask questions like:
What do I do well?
What do I want my business to look like in 5 years?
What do I want to accomplish by then?
What do I do that gives me the best results?
If you don’t have a specific purpose right now, that’s okay! But it may be time to start thinking critically about why you’re in business.
To set your brand up for success, you want to be sure you are deeply in tune with why your customers should care about what you’re selling them and how they can use that product or service to make their lives better.
5. Growth
The ultimate goal in a successful personal brand or business brand is growth. That growth can show up in many different ways depending on your values, vision, and purpose.
Think about the qualitative and quantitative returns for which you are working towards.
Are you looking to build yourself up as the resident expert?
Do you want to be the trusted source people come to first?
Do you want to take on additional clients?
Are you looking to increase sales?
Maybe it’s a combo of these or all of the above? Maybe it’s something else entirely.
Whatever it is, there are two things we know for sure:
Growth will happen when you are intentional about it.
Growth will happen when you have a clear idea of what kind of growth you’re looking for.
In Closing
Now that you know how to work on building a recognizable and successful personal brand, I encourage you to spend some time thinking about how you can incorporate these elements into your brand.
If you’re not actively engaged in any personal brand-related projects at the moment, this is a good opportunity to take some time to brainstorm about where your brand’s growth could use a little boost.
Your customers will notice and remember the difference, and they’ll be more likely to stick with you than if you were just another company competing for their money.
September is one of my favorite months of the year.
It feels like fresh beginnings with the kiddos back in school and a refreshed focus on the business at hand. The weather is still warm, yet Fall is just on the horizon.
Plus, it’s my birthday month. 🥳
Enjoy this month’s free downloads! Sunflowers and the golden hour are two of my absolute favorite things.
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Have you been feeling like your brand feels off and that things aren’t quite right? Does it feels like no matter what you do, something is missing?
Believe me, friend, you’re not alone.
This is a common issue amongst business owners and entrepreneurs. And I’ve been there, too.
If you’re feeling like your efforts are not working out the way you envision they should, it’s time to hit pause and regroup.
Your personal brand is not only a representation of your work, it’s a mash-up of your personality, your values, your strengths, and your weaknesses. It’s how other people see you and what they think about when they reflect upon the things you’ve created.
If you find yourself frustrated that nothing feels right in your brand, it may be because what you’re offering and who you’re trying to serve are out of alignment with who you are as a person.
If this sounds like you, it’s time to go back to the basics.
If your brand feels off, ask yourself these 3 questions.
1. Are you showing up as the person you really are?
Start by asking yourself: “Who am I?”
When was the last time you took an honest assessment of your strengths, weaknesses, and inherent personality traits?
We all want to be seen as the best version of ourselves. And it’s so easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life and forget about the importance of authenticity.
Which brings me to another question. Are you showing up as someone you’re not?
So many things that can go wrong when we try to live up to other people’s expectations and pretend that we are someone other than ourselves. Aside from the fact that pretending in this way is utterly exhausting, it can also have negative side effects on your health and relationships.
If you have been trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t match who you really are, it can be hard to know how to get started on the path toward authenticity. Here are some tips:
Take stock of yourself, including your strengths, weaknesses, and personality traits (the good and the bad).
Get rid of the negative self-talk that is keeping you stuck in your old ways and making it hard for others to see the real you.
Seek out people who appreciate you for who you are — this doesn’t just mean family and friends, but clients, too!
2. Are you aligned with who you’re trying to serve?
The first time I heard this question was right after I launched my consulting business.
I was networking with a colleague (which was very new to me at the time). He asked me if I knew who my target audience was. I swallowed hard and tried not to panic. I hated to admit that I didn’t have a good answer.
It wasn’t that he was judging me or trying to give me a hard time. And it certainly wasn’t a test. He was asking me because he liked what I was about and wanted to send business my way.
But without knowing who I liked to work with most, any referral efforts would have been futile.
My consulting business became successful and profitable because I took the time to sketch out exactly who I wanted to serve (i.e. my ideal target audience).
To get started, ask yourself:
Who do I want to serve?
What kind of people do I love working with?
What kinds of projects excite me?
Still struggling? Go through your past work and take notes on what you loved (or didn’t love) about the clients and the projects you completed.
3. What do people think of when they hear your name?
You may not give much thought to what others think about you. But if you want to succeed in your business, knowing how others perceive you and your brand is critical.
Your personal brand is not just a list of accomplishments; it’s a collection of experiences, perspectives, and attributes that make up who you are. When someone hears your name, what do they picture? What emotional response do they have? What might they say?
Here are some important things to consider:
Are people associating your name with confidence, credibility, and trust? If so, great – you’re on the right track. But if not, it may be time to consider changing things up and making some adjustments to how you present yourself, how you sell, and how you manage your client experience.
Are people associating your name with negativity? If so, that’s something that needs to be addressed FAST. The last thing you want is for your customers seeing negative press about your business, especially if it involves criticism from unhappy customers.
Final thoughts
Running your own business can be an exciting and scary adventure.
Sometimes, you’ll feel like you’re right on track, with all the warm and fuzzy feels about your brand and what you’re creating. And then, for whatever reason, that feeling will fade away.
Frustrating, right?
Managing these roller coaster moments and making adjustments along the way is necessary and totally normal. Instead of being hard on yourself when you feel like something isn’t right, take a brief pause and reflect.
This reflection time will allow you the space you need to make important tweaks that will get you back on track.
If you are looking for additional guidance, I’m here for you! Email me now and schedule your mini session. Sessions are free. In our 15 minutes together, we will drill down and troubleshoot one area of your business.
If you are struggling with this question, you are not alone. In fact, this is the number one question I am asked by business owners.
The answer to the personal brand or business brand question truly comes down to personal preference. You may choose one or the other. You may even choose a hybrid version of both (yes, does indeed exist).
There is no right or wrong answer… only the answer that best aligns with your lifestyle and business strategy.
At the end of the day, you want a brand that makes you feel all the warm fuzzies, including:
Waking up to a workday full of clients who you genuinely love working with and who are happy to pay you what you’re worth.
Feeling empowered to run your life and business while still having time to book your next family vacation.
Looking at your family and know that you’re going to be able to provide a life beyond their wildest dreams because of your business success.
Feeling like a successful professional rather than an imposter.
No longer worrying about where the next client is coming from.
Being in control of your schedule and feeling like you have never been more productive.
Achieving the joy and happiness you have been chasing for so long.
You’re probably wondering, can finally making a decision about my brand type do all of that for me? The answer is, YES, it absolutely can.
In this post, I’ll walk you through some of the main points to consider before making your decision.
Defined: Personal brand or business brand
What is a personal brand?
A personal brand is created around your personal identity. In essence, you are the name and face behind your brand. In addition, a personal brand will feature your personality, voice, personal experiences, expertise, values, and beliefs.
A personal brand is relatively easy to create and is as flexible and adaptable as you need it to be. This is helpful as it relates to making changes to your products or services or business strategy. After all, you are in full control as your brand is an extension of you.
A personal brand is perfect for those leading their own ventures, including course creators, coaches, consultants, artists, authors, and speakers.
What is a business brand?
In building a business brand, an identity is created for your business that is entirely separate from you. A business brand will have its own name, voice, personality, values, mission, and messaging.
If one of your long-term goals is to build up your business then sell it, creating a business brand is the way to go. Business brands are much easier to sell because the brand is exclusively tied to the products and services offered rather than to a single person.
A business brand is a solid choice for small to large businesses with employees, multiple products and services, and is a legal entity separate from its owners or shareholders.
Get to know the statistics.
Statistics show that people connect more naturally with other people, rather than with companies. As people crave more attention, they demand more engagement. People will look to engage with anyone from celebrities and famous personalities to influencers and authority figures.
Content shared by employees receives 8X more engagement than content shared by brand channels
It is true that a human connection must exist in order for a business to succeed, regardless of what type of brand you decide to build.
Reflect on your wants and needs.
Unfortunately, deciding on whether or not you need a personal brand or business brand is not as easy as snapping your fingers. Now that you have a little more information, it’s time to reflect on what you want for yourself, your business, and your brand moving forward.
Some of the questions you may want to consider when building your brand, include the following:
Do you want to be known for who you are or what your business stands for?
What matters more to you: your company’s success or your personal success?
Are you outgoing and willing to show off your personality?
How will your prospective clients engage with your business?
What are your personal and professional goals?
Do you plan on sticking with this business or will you create other businesses in the future?
Do you have a partner in your business that you need to consider?
How much time do you want to invest in brand activities throughout the year?
Do I need a personal brand or business brand?
At the end of the day, no matter what you choose, your brand needs to remain focused on what is most important. According to Marty Neumeier, author of The Brand Gap, a brand should answer three questions.
Who are you?
What do you do?
Why does it matter?
There is no one-size-fits all solution when it comes to choosing between a personal brand and a business brand. When determining what is right for you, consider the pros and cons and what makes the most sense for your business.
Still haven’t made a decision or looking for a little more guidance? You’re in luck! Download my FREE guide and take the quiz now to find out what it’s going to be – a personal brand or business brand. You are only minutes away from making a choice for good.
I get this question all the time. So before I answer, I want to share a little story with you.
When the pandemic hit, I (like most everyone else) was absolutely miserable. It was like traveling 100 mph, then slamming on the breaks to come to a full stop.
The feeling was super uncomfortable to say the least.
Suddenly, my quiet home office was inundated with nervous energy. My two kids and husband were now home, too.
Don’t even get me started on distance learning. I’m so happy for our area that this is a thing of the past.
With all sorts of restrictions and fear about what we didn’t know, we hunkered down and tried to cope as best as we could. We took walks and hung out in our backyard. We watched movies and played games. But we also ate our feelings and drank more of the good stuff than we should have.
I felt like a fluffier, more depressed shell of myself and I was ready for a change.
My friend told me about a certified health coach that she was working with to help her develop some healthier habits. I wasn’t sure that this was the right move for me, but I was definitely interested in finding out more.
I reached out to Jacqueline and set up a time for a quick chat. She was not what I expected (and in a great way!). She had a special kind of energy that I connected with almost immediately.
I remember telling her that I was also a coach and that I wasn’t sure that I needed to hire one. I knew what to do, I just needed to do it.
Her response?
Coaches need coaches, too.
Here is what I knew to be true. I needed accountability, guidance, and support in order to make some serious changes. Not only that, I needed to work with someone that really got me. This wasn’t going to work if I didn’t connect on some level with the coach that I chose to work with.
I started working with Jacqueline that same month. She taught me new ways to eat more nutritious foods, how to make better choices, how to slow down, and how important it was to move my body. As a result I felt better, I was feeling stronger, I gained muscle, I lost 20 lbs, and I was finally fitting back into my pants.
An unexpected, but very welcome result, was that I learned how to be kinder to myself. I not only shed some pounds, I also shed a good amount of stress that was holding me back in my personal and professional life.
To say that my coach helped me reach my goals is an understatement. The time, money, and energy I invested in this work with her was delivered back two-fold.
At this point, you are probably thinking, “That’s great, but what does this have to do with hiring a personal brand coach?”
I’d say… almost everything.
Personal brand coaches provide you with the accountability, guidance, and support you need in order to help you reach your business goals.
Just like I was skeptical about hiring a health coach, I’m guessing you are skeptical about hiring a personal brand coach. Hence, why you are here reading my post.
What I’ve learned from hiring my own coaches is, like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. Investing in a coach is far from waving a magic wand. In order to see a return on your investment, you have to be willing to put in the time and the work. And when you do… that’s when the magic happens!
I’m also here to crush the myth that only failing businesses need coaching. Want to know what I believe?
Coaching helps the good become even better.
That’s because coaches see your potential and work with you 1:1 to achieve the success you envision.
In the case of personal brand coaches, they use their experience and expertise to help you with many things, including, but not limited to:
Teaching you how to avoid common branding mistakes, including random acts of marketing… and if you are reading between the lines, that does mean that a great coach will guide you through creating a plan for your brand.
Recommending tried, true, and intentional tactics that will save you from wasting precious time and money on strategies that don’t work.
Advising you on how to discover and leverage your most authentic self with the goal of allowing your true personality and marketable qualities to shine through your brand.
Providing you with support, training, mentorship, and yes, at times, even a shoulder to cry on… anything that will help you move forward and push you outside the limits of your comfort zone.
Acting as your brainstorming partner to help unearth fresh, creative, and innovative ideas that will help support your business growth.
Serving as your mentor to help you see the bigger picture of your business so that challenges may be turned into opportunities.
You may have taken a DIY approach to your personal brand in the past. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! In fact, some of my most successful clients have started out that way. It’s when they get serious about their goals and growing their businesses that they seek out a coach like myself.
Hire a Personal Brand Coach
So, how do you know if you are ready to hire a personal brand coach? I can tell you that my most successful clients have the following traits:
They are driven to push themselves and their biz forward.
They pour their heart and soul into everything you do.
They are motivated to take action on what they learn.
They have the time and energy to invest in working with a coach.
They embrace the idea that the cost of working with a coach is an investment in themselves and their business… and gosh-darn-it, they are worth it!
If you see yourself agreeing to most, if not all, of the traits above, you are ready!
I currently have openings for my 30-day 1:1 Personal Brand Intensive. If this looks like it may be a fit for you, I invite you to apply. I’d love an opportunity to work with you.
If you are looking for something a little more on the DIY side, my 5-day Build a Better Personal Brand, Foundations mini course is for you! I encourage you to check it out.
OH! As I’m sure you are a lover of free gifts like I am, be sure to snag my freebie, 10 Easy Ways to Reinvent Your Personal Brand.
Are you feeling a little lost and lonely and need a pick-me-up to boost your confidence?
You poor, unfortunate soul.
Ok… maybe this is a bit dramatic. 😂 But nevertheless, I’ve got you.
And yes, if you caught the vibe, I’m totally a Disney fanatic and Ariel is one of my favorites. But I digress…
When I chose to start my own business in 2010, I had no idea what the opportunities or hurdles would be. I only knew that I needed a job that would provide me with a challenge, would allow me to be creative, and would give me the flexibility I desperately needed for my growing family.
What I didn’t know was about to hit me like a ton of bricks in the face.
Working as a team-of-one from my home office was much harder than I thought. I was easily distracted by my little ones, home duties, or slacking off to enjoy the sunshine (SQUIRREL!). It’s hard to buckle down and stay motivated when there is no one to report to but yourself.
On the hardest days, I realized that I was lonely and unmotivated. Normally, I would turn to my coworkers. We would help each other when we were stuck, celebrate victories, and work through our losses. We’d even crank out the tunes and dance it out before we got back to work.
On my own, the celebration of victories includes me high-fiving myself or doing that weird, jerky Elaine dance. I know… sad, but totally true.
Working through times when I am stuck drains my time and my mental state. It’s also self-defeating. I end up internally beating up on myself for not knowing the answer.
Working through losses is much like taking a sucker punch to the gut. Sharing those losses with a team was certainly easier than handling it on my own.
However, when it comes to motivation, there is one secret tool that I use. Mantras.
How to boost your confidence
If you have that contorted “yeah, right” look on your face, stay with me.
I’ve been using mantras for years. Before I started my business, I worked with a life coach. I was literally panicking about what I was going to do with my life. Like breaking out in desperate, shaking, sobbing fits. I had two babies at home, the economy was in the toilet, and the types of jobs I was interested in were a two hour commute from my home.
I wanted to be a mom, cuddling and raising her babies. But I also wanted to continue with my career… the part of me that made me feel like a total badass. How was it possible to be both? How in the hell could I do both?
I felt lost.
I felt discouraged.
She encouraged me to think about the good parts of myself. To think about what others would tell me that would put me in the best, motivated mood.
After chewing on that for a while, I took out my favorite black sharpie and set out to write each mantra on a happy-colored sticky note. I then placed each in a place I would see it the most.
My task, which I begrudgingly took, was to repeat the mantra three times out-loud when I saw it.
I thought she was crazy, but I gave it a go.
Honestly, it was one of the best tasks I have been given. Repeating those mantras day in and day out not only increased my motivation levels, the practice also completely turned my confidence around. And, if it was possible, I felt less lonely.
A win all around!
So yes, it may sound like an uncomfortable task to undertake, but I’m going to challenge you to do it, too! To help, I’m sharing with you 24 of my favorite mantras for FREE!
It’s time to boost your confidence.
Place these puppies all over your home. Doors, walls, mirrors, and computers are the most common places. You may also consider hiding them in cupboards and closets. No place is a bad place.
Hopefully in the next few weeks, you’ll be feeling less lonely, more confident, and more motivated to take on the world.
It’s no secret that I have made my fair share of personal brand mistakes.
Branding has been part of my business’ bread and butter since 2010. I love a good challenge, especially when I visualize what could be. When we’re deep in the work, my clients’ reactions and ah-ha moments are absolutely priceless. Seeing their wheels turning and the joy in their faces is everything. It lights my fire when my clients see their potential – they start to think bigger and act more confident.
The transformations are incredibly rewarding.
How to avoid personal brand mistakes
Your journey to personal branding should be as fun as it is insightful. Being creative with your options and learning as you go is the best way to enjoy the process.
Branding may seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, if you break the process into steps, it’s actually a lot easier to work through than you think.
Of course, there are pitfalls. If you are refreshing your personal brand or starting from scratch, here are five of the worst mistakes you should watch out for and the steps you can take to avoid them.
Mistake #1 – You are pretending to be someone that you aren’t.
There is only one person like you in the entire world. So why would you spend your precious time pretending to be someone else? Personal branding is all about you. It should reflect all of the qualities, experiences, and personality traits that make you… you.
It’s easy to say that you should embrace and love all of the parts that make up who you are. The truth is, that being authentic doesn’t always come easy. It requires self-awareness and motivation to learn more about who you really are.
To help with this process, my advice is to take an assessment or two. One of my favorites is the free personality test at 16Personalities.com. This test is based on the Meyers-Briggs personality inventory.
But don’t stop there! Once you receive the results of your test, spend some time researching. You’ll be amazed at what you learn.
Mistake #2 – You do not have a clear vision or purpose for your business.
A clear vision and purpose will drive you forward. You will not be doing anyone any good, if you don’t know who you are, what you do, or what drives you to do what you do.
Being authentic also requires you to be intentional. A clear vision and purpose will help guide your actions so that you stay focused and on track.
To clarify your vision and purpose, you need to put a stake in the sand. Based on your own self-reflection, decide how you want to show up authentically in your business. Write down exactly what lights you up about what you do. Reflect on your favorite client moments and wins. Outline the experience you hope to give to your clients when they work with you (from the beginning to the end).
Mistake #3 – You do not know who you are serving.
If you were sitting across the table having lunch with your ideal client, would you be able to tell me specific details about them? What do they look like? How old are they? Do they have kids? How many? Are they married? How much money do they make? Where do they live? What do they like to do? Who do they look up to? What are some of their favorite things?
One of the worse mistakes you can make in personal branding is not knowing who you are serving or believing that you serve everyone.
In order to be successful with sales and marketing tactics, we need to know exactly who we are trying to attract.
Mistake #4 – You do not have a brand identity.
If you find yourself constantly wasting time creating graphics and messages that never quite seem to hit the mark, then it is highly likely that you do not have a brand identity.
A brand identity is more than just a logo. A brand identity includes your logo, complementary design assets, typography, and color palette.
But wait… there’s more! 😉
A brand identity also includes a full work-up of how your content will look and sound. This includes photography and videography, as well as the structure of your voice and messaging (aka your copy).
Tackling your brand identity requires you to have a solid foundation first, which includes working through a self-discovery process that I discussed above. This process does not take long.
Need a little help to get you started? Check out my mini course, Build a Better Personal Brand – Foundations. In this course, I’m taking experienced online business owners, course creators, coaches, and consultants back to the basics. I will teach you how to build a strong foundation for your personal brand that will leave you feeling more confident, empowered, and ready to share your expertise. And you’ll complete this work in just 5 days! 🎉
Mistake #5 – You ignore your own personal story.
Think about all of the times that you read a post or an article and you thought to yourself, “OMG… me, too!” Or “I can totally relate to that.”
That’s what personal stories do. They help your audience relate to you. This is also why you shouldn’t be surprised if your personal stories on social score more engagement points in likes, comments, and shares than your promotional posts.
Personal stories may be shared on your website, on social, in emails, in videos, and podcasts. I’ve even seen stories shared on product labels – and I have to say, I read them all! I love a great story.
A couple of pro-tips for you… First, your stories should relate in some way to the products or services you are offering. Second, be creative, be emotionally engaging, and use lots of juicy details when you tell your story.
Ready to kick your personal brand into high gear?
There is no need to feel like you are struggling to find a style and voice that shows off your personality and your expertise. I’ve got you! Grab my free guide on 10 Easy Ways to Reinvent Your Personal Brand.
If you are looking for additional guidance on how to avoid personal brand mistakes, I’d love to chat with you. Email me now and schedule your mini session. Sessions are free. In our 15 minutes together, we will drill down and troubleshoot one area of your business.
Today I want to talk about something that may be a bit controversial. It’s the idea of work life balance.
If you Google work life balance, you’ll find a ton of information, data, and opinions on what this means. My favorite headlines? Anything that suggests that achieving work life balance is easy.
Here’s what I think.
Throwing out the words work life balance is doing us a great disservice.
Consider what saying that might feel to someone who is living a life that is so chock full of stressful to do’s, tasks, and caretaking that just securing a few minutes to take a shower can be an anxiety-riddled event.
Take working moms, for example. As many of you can relate, my work never seems quite done. Even when I’m sleeping, I’m dreaming about who I need to take care of, what I have coming up, and what needs to be done the next day. My sleep is anything but restful.Â
And during the day? I am running like a chicken with my head cut off, jumping task-to-task with wife, mom, and household duties while running a business at the same time. All while carrying a mental load that is almost at an unbearable weight.
I don’t share this for people to feel sorry for me. I love my life and my family, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Hearing the phrase work life balance hurts me. And I believe it’s hurting others, too.
It does nothing to improve my mental state. In fact, I would challenge the idea that just saying these words is enough to cause more undue stress.
Why? Because I don’t think balance exists in the way our brains tell us it should look like.
Balance on its own gives me this vision of a scale. In a balanced scenario, that scale should be perfectly balanced with the weight of our work life on one side and the weight of our personal life on the other.
That visual of trying to achieve such a thing – especially as an OCD perfectionist – makes me feel exhausted, defeated, and like an utter failure on every level.
I can’t imagine I am the only one that feels this way.
So here is what I am in favor of. Rather than talking about some magical idea of balance, why don’t we shift the conversation.
Let’s start using phrases like quality of life.
I want to focus on what I can do to make my heart, my mind, and my body feel fulfilled, happy, and stress-free. I want to focus on the quality of what I do in a day rather than the balance of it.
Maybe it’s semantics to some. For me, I believe that changing the tone and direction of work life conversations can and will have an immediate and positive impact for many of us. Everything in my body tells me that removing the word balance from the conversation lifts the pressure off our shoulders and changes the course of the stories we tell ourselves.Â
Our minds, our bodies, our lives – they’re important. We can do hard things. Let’s respect ourselves and each other by doing those hard things with grace, kindness, and patience.
I’d love to know what you think about all this. Share your thoughts and stories with me in the comments below.
Are you working towards being your most productive self?
This is my mission each and every time I sit down at my desk.
Have you ever been told that you can do more than one thing at a time? Or even that you should do more than one thing at a time? Did that cause you to pause with hesitation or did it motivate you, like, “Oh hell yeah. Yes I can!“
I’m an overachiever at heart. So the answer for me, without hesitation, was the latter. Of course I can!
The problem is, multitasking in many cases doesn’t make any sense. Think about it for a sec.
Personally, I can walk and chew gum at the same time. I can also rub my belly with one hand while patting my head with the other – I mean, that’s a serious gift, right?!
But let’s talk about multitasking when it comes to important tasks – like spending quality time with your family, responding to emails, or writing a blog post.
How many of you have tried to be present and engaged on a Zoom conference call while you pay bills? I can see some of you smiling out there. I’ll admit, too, that I have. And you know what? It doesn’t work! Either I screwed up my billing or I gave a super vague answer to a question when I was called upon during the call (OMG… so embarrassing).Â
Certainly, multitasking is not the key to being your most productive self.
Honestly, do you know any human who is able to do more than one thing at a time and do it WELL? I’ve seen many people juggle multiple tasks at a time. Hell, that’s the definition of a parent, right?
But the key word here is well.
I can do more than one thing at a time, BUT (and that’s a huge but) I cannot complete those tasks well.
Being your most productive self
When my attention is split, I lack focus. I am not giving any one task all of my attention. And when I lack focus, I feel anxious. I’m stressed that I’m not getting to everything and that I’m forgetting something. I really don’t feel productive at all. If I can be honest, I feel like I’m losing more than winning.
Think about that for a second.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”When my attention is split, I lack focus. And when I lack focus, I feel anxious. I’m stressed that I’m not getting to everything and that I’m forgetting something. I really don’t feel productive at all. If I can be honest, I feel like I’m losing more than winning.” quote=”When my attention is split, I lack focus. I am not giving any one task all of my attention. And when I lack focus, I feel anxious. I’m stressed that I’m not getting to everything and that I’m forgetting something. I really don’t feel productive at all. If I can be honest, I feel like I’m losing more than winning.” theme=””]
If only we just focused on one single task at hand, what would happen? How would we feel?
I can tell you.
It feels AMAZING. Giving all my focus to one task at a time makes me feel like I am in control of my day. I’m less stressed. I feel more productive. And to top it off, when I’m in the zone, I can plow through my to do list. I accomplish more in my day which frees up more time in my schedule.
That free time can be spent on things that I love – dates with my husband, hikes with my friends, playtime with the kiddos, going to get my hair done, getting a massage…
Sounds so good, right?
The key to working hard so we can play harder isn’t a secret. It’s not even hard to do. It’s just that sometimes we get so caught up in the hustle and chaos of our lives that we forget to do it.
Here are some of the tricks I share with my clients for achieving the best environment for focus.
Dedicate a quiet, space in your home to work. You do not have to have a dedicated office. This space can be anywhere in your home that makes you feel motivated and focused.
Make a short to do list at the end of every work day.
When you sit down to work, have a timer at the ready. Set the timer for different tasks, such as 15 minutes to check email, 50 minutes for writing, 50 minutes to work on a project, etc. When that timer goes off, it’s time for you to move on.
When you are working on a task, turn off everything else. For instance, if you are writing, turn off your email, phone, text messages, and any other notifications that may distract you.
Place a notebook and a pen next to you so that you may jot down thoughts or other to do’s that pop into your head as you are working through a task. Once it’s out of your head and onto paper, it’s amazing how those shiny objects will disappear!
At the end of your workday, it’s not uncommon to feel utterly exhausted, even though you are so happy with all you accomplished. Remember, you just rocked your day!
Relax, unwind, and celebrate. I don’t think we do this enough for ourselves, especially when we are working from home. Enjoy a long bath, go for a walk and watch the sunset, savor a glass of your favorite wine, or all of the above… because you deserve it!
Within no time you’ll be saying, Bring on tomorrow! For it will be another awesome day.
