Today I want to talk about something that may be a bit controversial. It’s the idea of work life balance.
If you Google work life balance, you’ll find a ton of information, data, and opinions on what this means. My favorite headlines? Anything that suggests that achieving work life balance is easy.
Here’s what I think.
Throwing out the words work life balance is doing us a great disservice.
Consider what saying that might feel to someone who is living a life that is so chock full of stressful to do’s, tasks, and caretaking that just securing a few minutes to take a shower can be an anxiety-riddled event.
Take working moms, for example. As many of you can relate, my work never seems quite done. Even when I’m sleeping, I’m dreaming about who I need to take care of, what I have coming up, and what needs to be done the next day. My sleep is anything but restful.
And during the day? I am running like a chicken with my head cut off, jumping task-to-task with wife, mom, and household duties while running a business at the same time. All while carrying a mental load that is almost at an unbearable weight.
I don’t share this for people to feel sorry for me. I love my life and my family, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Hearing the phrase work life balance hurts me. And I believe it’s hurting others, too.
It does nothing to improve my mental state. In fact, I would challenge the idea that just saying these words is enough to cause more undue stress.
Why? Because I don’t think balance exists in the way our brains tell us it should look like.
Balance on its own gives me this vision of a scale. In a balanced scenario, that scale should be perfectly balanced with the weight of our work life on one side and the weight of our personal life on the other.
That visual of trying to achieve such a thing – especially as an OCD perfectionist – makes me feel exhausted, defeated, and like an utter failure on every level.
I can’t imagine I am the only one that feels this way.
So here is what I am in favor of. Rather than talking about some magical idea of balance, why don’t we shift the conversation.
Let’s start using phrases like quality of life.
I want to focus on what I can do to make my heart, my mind, and my body feel fulfilled, happy, and stress-free. I want to focus on the quality of what I do in a day rather than the balance of it.
Maybe it’s semantics to some. For me, I believe that changing the tone and direction of work life conversations can and will have an immediate and positive impact for many of us. Everything in my body tells me that removing the word balance from the conversation lifts the pressure off our shoulders and changes the course of the stories we tell ourselves.
Our minds, our bodies, our lives – they’re important. We can do hard things. Let’s respect ourselves and each other by doing those hard things with grace, kindness, and patience.
I’d love to know what you think about all this. Share your thoughts and stories with me in the comments below.
I’m cheering for you always!
